PETA has taken a stand against one of the most popular tourist attractions in Seattle - the fish market at the Pike Place Market that tosses salmon.I'd respect PETA more if they were protesting the fact that the Pike Place fish market murders innocent fish and sells them as food to omnivores who could just as easily be eating tofu or hummus or something else that doesn't have a face. Dudes! The fish are dead! They're in fishy heaven enjoying the benefits of eternal bliss and all the worms you can eat without hooks. Or they're waiting in line to be re-incarnated as, I don't know, otters or something. At any rate, they're not in any pain. I don't think -- I'm not really an expert on fish theology.
It's gotten to the point where it would be impossible to satire PETA. (Can satire be used as a verb? Can fish be used as a projectile?) Anything you made up about them would be less outrageous and silly than whatever it is they were actually doing at that moment. Here's what I mean.
PETA has begun a campaign to improve the public's perception of man-eating tigers. The organization has developed a web-site, targeted to children, suggesting that man-eating tigers be referred to as "jungle goldfish."
In an effort to make life a little easier for sheep, PETA has sent a copy of "Babe" on VHS to New Zealand. Said a PETA spokessheep, "Baah, we just want the dogs to stop being so gosh darn mean all the time." It is not certain whether the island nation, located to the south of Australia, has made the switch to DVD...
PETA is trying to get everybody to stop eating tortilla chips because one of the group's members was in Tijuana for a bachelorette party and she saw a diorama with actual stuffed frogs playing in a mariachi band...
Update: Seriously.
